Open letter to Klaus Iohannis, President of Romania
From: Viorica Dancila, Associate Member of Liberators Without Borders
Date: 2021-01-06

Dear Mr Iohannis.

You probably don't know me, but I'm a Romanian taxpayer, meaning I pay you so you work for me.

Here is what I would like you to do.

As discussed here and here Thailand and Australia are preparing to go to war with each other. Both sides are accusing each other of gross human rights violations and invoking the "Responsibility to Protect" clause of the UN, to which Romania is also a signatory.

I have looked closely at the case made by each side, and in actual fact, BOTH of them have extremely strong cases, and quite frankly, BOTH governments should be toppled.

I am therefore requesting the Romanian military to be deployed to liberate BOTH of these countries. Obviously with the assistance of NATO. Romania has a very proud military history, taking part in the liberation of Kosovo, Afghanistan and Iraq. On top of our glorious revolution where we overthrew the sadistic reign of communism/socialism. We are proud to stand up and be counted, as part of the free world, rather than being immoral gutless slime-bag "neutrals" like Sweden, Finland, Switzerland, Austria and Ireland.

In addition, unlike other members of NATO (looking at YOU, Germany), Romania has freedom of speech guaranteed by our constitution, and it is ACTUALLY ENFORCED, meaning every Romanian citizen, including myself, is absolutely safe to say whatever the fuck we want, in the full knowledge that the entire Romanian military, and the entire NATO military (the most kickass military alliance in world history) is there to protect each and every one of us. Contrast this to Thailand and Australia where no such protection exists.

It is difficult to know who we should liberate first out of Thailand and Australia. I'll leave that open to debate, but I would suggest that the wisest course of action is to pick the easiest target first, which would be Thailand, and then a FREE Thailand will volunteer to add its forces to the Romanian forces, for the liberation of Australia. Another factor is that as per that above link, Thailand has made some pretty rude claims about Romanian saints, so this is personal!

To ensure that all NATO members are involved, please invoke Article 5. I can't think of a specific threat that Thailand and Australia pose to Romania ("while there's life, there's threat"? cf Servalan from "Blake's 7"). I suggest you just trot out whatever excuse was used in the Kosovo liberation. Thailand and Australia deserve liberation just as much as Kosovo.

If the UN Security Council refuses to bless the NATO operation because of their archaic thinking, then NATO members should all withdraw from the UN en masse.

Please include other non-NATO members of the free world, like Afghanistan and Iraq, in the coalition.

An armada of the entire free world assembled off the coasts of Thailand then Australia will be the most beautiful sight the world has ever seen, and both that Thai girl and that Australian man will know just how much the free world cares about their human rights.

The immediate concern is to prevent any of those Thai protesters from having to spend 1 second more than necessary in a Thai jail, plus preventing that Australian man living in fear from continuing to live in fear, but after this operation is completed I will be writing to you again about NATO partnering with ECOWAS to liberate all of Africa (after ECOWAS made an excellent start with Gambia).

Also note that if we do not receive a timely response from the Romanian government we will be sending the same request directly to NATO instead.

Also note that if you are unwilling to see Romanian soldiers die for Thai and Australian freedom, then please employ Gurkhas. There is no excuse for inaction.

P.S. Note that I would personally be willing to join the Romanian military and liberate Thailand and Australia, but unfortunately I can't, because the Romanian military uniform clashes with my favorite fingernail polish.